Parfaits and Overnight Stays (?)
by stealyourfood
Summary: In which NicoMaki are arguing non-stop and NozoEli kinda try to offer suggestions. Alternative titles included inside. Is crack Humour? Rated T for Teasing.


**Author's notes: OOC. Definitely OOC. And Crack. NicoMaki and NozoEli. Partially inspired by the con shots and my friend blueramen's amazing quote of 'wet'.**

 **Alternative titles: Private games, 50 shades of gay, Gay Losers, Crack, Nico nico No, Untitled, Nico Yuri Joushidou, Garasu no Sanity**

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 **Parfaits and Overnight stays(?)**

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"Nico-nico-nii!" Nico practiced for the 20th time in fifteen minutes, and even though Eli was willing to do the first 10 sets, she was getting tired and worried for Nico's sanity at this point. The more she thought about Nico, the more she felt as though 'Nico' was a made up word to torment her mental stability. This wasn't even a practice session, they were in their school uniforms, and Nico had tricked them into coming up to the rooftop.

"Nico-chan, let's just stop this already." Maki groaned, and Nico glared at her.

"Well, I would have approved your cuteness level earlier if you would just comply with this training!" She scowled, and Maki rolled her eyes. "Let's try again. Nico-nico-nii!"

Maki, now thoroughly done at this point, did a mockery of Nico's finest move. "Nico-nico-nii~" She sang in off-key, raised her hands weakly, and put on a constipated face.

Eli covered her mouth, but her stifled snort was still audible, audible enough to further agitate Nico, who flipped the bird at both of them.

Maki sneered at Nico, and Nico stepped forward.

"Wow, this is… this is getting awkward. You know what, I think I hear Garasu no Hanazono playing in the distance, Nozomi must be calling me. Well, bye-"

"Oh no, you're not leaving. I don't hear your obnoxious gay anthem." Nico snarled, staring at Maki all the while.

"I doubt you can hear anything past the incessant echoing of your own narcissistic praising and chorusing." Maki shot back, folding her arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't know an immature kid could tell me off."

"Immature? What do you mean, you midget?" Maki scoffed, twirling her hair as Nico put her hands on her hips.

"Well, only mature people would know that Santa-mmph!" Eli slapped her hand over Nico's mouth, and laughed awkwardly.

"Well, what about Santa?"

Eli struggled to keep her hand on Nico's mouth – urgh, was she salivating?! – "Nothing, She meant Saturn! She wanted to say that only mature people knew that Saturn has visible rings!"

"Congratulations, Nico-chan, that didn't make sense at all." Maki watched as Eli removed her hand, wincing as she attempted to fling whatever she could off her hand. "You seem to be devolving as the days go by."

"Maki-chan! You are really starting to piss me off. First, you insult my special Nico-nico-nii, then you tell me that I'm a midget, and you insult my intelligence!" Nico fumed and stood closer to Maki, trapping Eli between them. "What else do you want to insult?"

"I can't insult non-existent things." Maki squished Eli closer.

"Funny that you mention non-existant, because-" Eli felt herself getting caught in a terrible situation.

"Your chest is?" Maki poked Nico's flat chest, narrowly avoiding stabbing Eli.

"Why, YOU! That's sexual harassment and I'll tell you what is non existant, Sa-"

"DE DE DEN!" Eli shouted at the top of her voice.

Nico blinked, annoyed that she had been interrupted. "What the f-"

"Nozomi isn't around to respond to your mating call, you know." Maki glanced at Eli, who was squirming between the two idiots.

"De DE DEN!" A faint reply that was increasing in volume was heard.

"Are you fuc-"

"Far! That's really far!" Eli cut in, aware that certain language would push age ratings higher, and that would be troublesome for an omnipotent being who was probably dictating their actions.

"Is that pounding on the door Nozomi? That's fast." Maki raised her eyebrows, and everyone jumped when Nozomi broke the door down, parfait in hand.

"YUME NO MEIRO!" "YURI NO MEIRO!"

"Damnit." Nico covered her ears. "For your own sake, you should cover your eyes when they stop singing."

"Oh no, no nonsense." Maki snapped her fingers, and the Idiotic Couple snapped out of their trance.

"Oh, hi, Nicocchi. Hi, Maki." Nozomi smiled pleasantly at them.

"Don't give me that nonsense, Nozomi." Nico started. "I don't even know how you managed to hear Eli."

"Well, I have learnt to get used to her frequency when she is at a certain volume." Nozomi blushed and sighed blissfully.

A strong gust of wind blew, and skirts started to billow about.

"Oh no, we should sit down somewhere. It's a good thing we set up a stone bench here." Eli said, and Nozomi beat her to the bench.

"Oh no~" She intentionally spilled the parfait on the other areas of the stone bench. "Oh no, Elicchi, I guess you'll have to sit on my lap, if not, you'll get wet!"

"How troublesome, I guess it can't be helped." Eli moved over eagerly, and Nozomi wrapped her arms around Eli.

"It's not as if she'll be dry like this. Can we stop this already, this is really ridiculous." Nico complained.

"You're absolutely right. Nico, Maki, you really have to stop this nonsense. Fighting all day isn't good for you." Eli stated calmly, as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened a while ago.

"It's just half the day!" Nico protested. "We don't even stay together."

"I wonder how that would be, though…" Maki muttered. "… I do have fun equipment…"

"Oh no, not again." Nico raised her hands. "Anything but that, please!"

"That's settled then." Nozomi announced.

"Wait, what's settled?!"

"Nicocchi, shh! It's settled that you're to settle it with Maki through the usual means. You learn more about a person when you stay together! Overnight, your relationship develops, you explore and learn more about each other, and who knows, you may reach the same frequencies too!" Nozomi smiled dreamily, and Nico shuddered.

"I never agreed-"

"So I guess it's my house, then. Since Nico-chan's house is too small." Maki said nonchalantly, reaching out to touch her hair again.

"What!?"

"That's great, we've all reached a mutual agreement." Nozomi clapped her hands. "I'm sure this will be a good experience. Just one day. A stayover."

"Hey, I never-"

"I'm not sure it's such a good idea…" Eli looked at Maki, who shrugged.

"My beach villa will be empty for two weeks. It's all yours." She threw the keys at the Idiot Couple.

"WOW, what a good experience it will be indeed! As ex-student council president and unofficial papa of μ's, I approve. Good luck, NicoMaki. Especially Nico."

"Thank you, NozoEli." Maki replied.

"Wait, what? Why are our names lumped together like that Idiot Couple?"

"It's kinda scary how aggressive Maki actually is." Eli pointed out, and Nozomi nodded.

"I guess I can sort that out together with Nico later. Maybe relieve our tension as well. Thank you for suggesting this, NozoEli." Maki said.

"What!?" Nico waved her hands infront of everyone, alternating her hand gestures.

"Not a problem. It seems that Nico needs some sort of incentive though." Eli stood up, Nozomi still attached to her. "We should get going. Your beach villa isn't that near after all."

"I understand." Maki nodded.

"Nozomi! Eli! Don't go! Maki always dominates me!" Nico reached for them, but Maki interlocked their fingers instead.

"Let's go."

"What, to your house? No way!" Nico gripped Maki's hand tighter, pulling the opposite way.

"Well, your house is fine too, if your siblings are okay with it." Maki shrugged and watched as Nico paused to weigh the pros and cons.

"We… we might get rough and competitive, we better not." Nico sighed. "Your house it is. Let's just go and sort this out, see who comes out on top, who comes first and what not."

Maki smirked. "My bedroom, right?"

Nico grimaced. "Just choose one thing to play with."

Maki hummed. "Let's choose now then, DDR, or Mario Kart?"

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 **AN: What were you thinking? I just returned from a Con so I can only produce Crack!Fics. In fact, I'm rambling incoherently IRL. I'm sorry for pulling another Synchronise.  
My other fics will resume hopefully by the second week of December, when I have cleared my essays and when work stops being so tiring. Have a great day, guys.**


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